Monday, February 4, 2008

Super Tuesday Predictions

The super bowl wasn't worth watching, but Super Tuesday is going to be interesting. Here's what will happen.

1) Barack takes California, Illinois, and perhaps the lead in super Tuesday. Hillary is too conservative for California. Don't think so? Ann Coulter will campaign for Hillary if McCain is elected, because he's "more liberal" than she is.

Hmmm. Perhaps this will increase the chance that she'll hook up with Henry Rollins.


2) Romney will pull even or ahead of McCain. McCain is probably the greatest challenger to the either Hillary or Barack, but how he's ahead of Romney is beyond me. McCain is missing two very, very important things if you're a Republican: the support of Rush Limbaugh, and the support of James Dobson. Meanwhile, most people sense that "Godstitution" Huckabee is going to drop out soon enough, and Romney's magic underwear definitely qualifies him as the wackier of the two, slurping up that 7% of America's creepiest.

McCain may have had the support from center-right Americans, but he made a big mistake about a 16 months ago. He was still opposing the Bush admin over torture, as a man who's been tortured himself. And then, he spent one weekend behind closed doors with W & Cheney, and out he came a believer in our torture policy & the Bush Admin. What really happened here, was that Bush pledged his support in '08 if John would just shut his f***ing mouth about Iraq & Guantanamo. Not long after that, GWB's support dropped below 30%, and McCain realized he got the short end of the stick. This is why he's looking waaaaay older than he actually is....he sold his soul to Cheney.

1 comment:

Thinking it and making it happen said...

Dude, there has to be a magazine out there somewhere that you need to submit writings like your past 2articles to. Seriously, this is the best thing I read and watched all day.
And I have to say I'm thoroughly impressed with your predictions and it leads me to believe that you fall into one of the small percentage of people who actually know what the F**k they are talking about when it comes to politics.
I love the part about the Rush Limbaugh support and McCain selling his soul to Cheny for looking so old. There is one more possibility though, maybe Cheney took him behind the doors and told him he would shoot him in the face if he didn't shut the F**k up.
Shit, the slurping up of the 7% of Americas creepiest is frickn hilarious as well.
Keep em coming!