Tuesday, October 18, 2005

On my Resume, It says I'm a problem solver

Problem: You can't stop farting at your desk/cube/office.

Solution: Take the cap off your much stinkier permanent marker & wave it around & blow on the tip to mask the scent.

Friday, October 7, 2005

Thork + Metal

I have been modified. Yes, I now have metal in my mouth--compliments of my M&M addiction, and my dentist Dr. Le.

Anyways, as I walk into the office, an old lady is leaving, and my dentist points out the cotton swab sticking out of her mouth, and bids her a good weekend. The hygenist, Christie(my dentist's hygenist), with her goes "Oops!" and pulls it out. Yech.

Anyways, I get all 5 off my teeth metallically repaired, half of my mouth completely numb as I'm walking home. Of course, it's impossible to do anything with your mouth, and I'm full of spit.

I do my best, but I want to make sure that I don't bite down on my tongue while I close it, so I stick my fingers in my mouth to push it over and.......
.... waaaaaat the fuck is this?

A fucking cotton swab.

Be glad your income doesn't rely on tips, Christie.