Sunday, November 27, 2005

Bismarck, ND probably the only place in the world where you can watch people two step to a band covering Twisted Sister, Green Day, EMF, the Phish-esque arrangement of "gin & juice" and a whole buncha other completely un-two-steppable songs I could recall if I wasn't sucking down colorado bulldogs.

Hmmm. Thinking about that a bit more...the opposite is probably way more true. I'm now beginning to think that there are far fewer places in the world where people don't two-step to Twisted Sister.

This should trouble EVERYONE.

Sunday, November 13, 2005


Chuck Klosterman claims that Pamela Anderson is the new Marilyn Monroe. He doesn't base his claim on grounds that Pam has made numerous great movies, or dated the president, etc; but he does make the valid claim that they are both perfect sex symbols for their generations. Monroe married Joe DiMaggio, the paramount archetype of his generation; a good looking jock. Pam married Tommy Lee, a freak famous for being famous. And then had a long tryst with Kid Rock, a soulless hack.

But I think Pam is past her spotlight for this generation, and I can think of only one person to be her successor.

Paris Hilton. She's famous only for being rich, and of course, having sex with Rick Solomon, a porno producer. The rate at which the video spread should be testament to my claim.

Paris typifies the "girls gone wild culture" through a stunning display of superficiality, soullessness, and unidimensional personailty.

The Tommy Lee's, Dennis Rodman's, and Marilyn Manson's are over too. Take a look at the guys she dates: Pointless 20-somethings with billionaire grandparents, drifting from one manhattan or LA club to the next. Which, of course has become the perfect man of our generation. They're all nameless outside their group of syncopants, because they're all completely generic.

And I'm pretty sure that she's Satan.


I was tidying up today, and I was taking some crap out of my apartment to my storage space. I had the window open, and there was a gust as I let go of the door, making it slam closed very hard.

I get back into my apartment and my framed 89.3 The Current Vinyl LP is on the floor. Shattered glass from the pane is spread about the hardwood floor. I'm barefoot, of course.

But that's not the only damage that's been done. The frame's impact was broken by my brand new ALDO boots. They're nicely scratched right on the toe.

I'm beginning to believe that no matter what you do, it's impossible to keep nice footwear nice.