Tuesday, May 9, 2006

Basic Bicycle Maintenance...

If you ever need a pedal wrench, don't buy one. I already did, and it was in a fit of rage.

I'll let you borrow mine.

A few weeks ago, I bought some new pedals & cycling shoes(the most expensive shoes I've EVER bought) and was VERY excited to take a ride with them on that very sunny & warm spring day ...

I carefully installed the cleats onto my shoes, and got out my toolset to take the old pedals off my bike. I grabbed my crescent wrench with my muscled arm in the same fashion my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather have been doing for the last 110 years.

I yanked. And yanked on that motherfucker until I rounded off part of the nut on the pedal. "Ah, SHIT!" I yelled as I wiped the beading sweat from my brow. I deduced the thread was seized, so I sprayed some WD40 on the threads and waited anxiously for a half hour as the daylight burned away....

I tried again, this time on a different orientation to the smashed hardened Chrome-Molybdenum steel on my first try. I looked at my hand, which had the reddest & deepest indentation I've ever seen on flesh. No more screwing around. I can get some ice later.

I close my eyes and mustered every last sodium-potassium receptor in my left bicep, deltoid, and lat. I feel the wrench move abruptly.........because I broke the wrench.

Our hero spreads his arms, fists clenched, teeth bared and looks to the sky/ceiling while emitting a primal roar.

I come to consciousness in my car headed toward the nearest bike shop, Erik's in St. Louis Park, to get a pedal wrench and slap down $30. Yes. I paid $30---a satisfying evening at the Herkimer.....for one wrench. This wrench has a slot to grasp the pedal nut, and a long handle. That's it.

I got home and pulled the wrench from it's bag. Which....appeared to have directions on the back.

Huh....the left pedal has a reverse thread.


I had a good ride.

1 comment:

If you can think it, it can happen. said...

That's hilarious. Well written.
I don't know how I could have missed it when it was first posted.

Reminds me of something I would do.

"Huh....the left pedal has a reverse thread".