Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Dr. Thork.

In the Operating Room earlier today....

Ok, ok. It was not on a human, but a porcine patient in a study for work.

In case you're wondering, the animal was anesthetized beforehand & during, was operated on using minimally invasive devices, and was euthanized afterwards--still while under anesthesia.

Hopefully (& likely) something good will come of it in the form of cheaper, more reliable & versatile devices for physicians to treat sick people worldwide.

Math: Something John McCain doesn't understand.

John McCain wants to give us all "a holiday" between Labor Day & Memorial day by suspending the Federal Gas Tax.

That's 13 weeks.

According to NPR, the average American commutes 25 minutes, making my daily commute which is usually between 17& 30 minutes, pretty average.

I fill gas almost exactly once per week, and I consume approximately 16.5 gallons of fuel per fill in my Pontiac 2-door.

Currently, the Federal Gas tax that John McCain wants to waive for this period is $0.18/gallon.

So, when you sit behind a calculator, my benefit, 13*16.5*.18=



Uh, thanks. But my fuel tank costs $55 to fill right now. How is this going to stimulate the Economy again? That is, aside from crippling the American infrastructure...

According to

But McCain's proposal could cost the government some $9 billion dollars - and more than 300,000 jobs.

The tax supports the federal Highway Trust Fund, which finances road projects nationwide and is already facing a $3.4 billion shortfall, the American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials says. The American Society of Civil Engineers says every dollar invested in highway infrastructure generates $5.40 in economic benefits through reduced delays, improved safety and lower vehicle operating costs. And the federal transportation department says every $1 billion in highway spending creates 34,779 jobs.

What a great way to stimulate America's "psychological" economic problems. I think the psychological problem is YOURS, John, and it's called delusion.......or, the inability to do elementary-level mathematics.

Good luck against Barack. He's got a law degree from Harvard.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Sweet Run

Please ignore the play-by-play feel of this, but I'm feeling pretty good right now.

I got home today from work a little groggy because I had a massive greasy Mexican lunch. I took a siesta on my couch, looking out at the dreary sky, knowing I had a long run planned for this afternoon.

I got dressed up, and stretched nice & slowly while watching Cops on TV.

I stepped outside to crisp 35F air, and decided that I was dressed appropriately & I probably wouldn't need the gloves in my pocket. I stepped off, and headed over to Harriet. As I got to the lake, I pushed the pace a bit and got the heart rate up, enjoying the little trails along the path, and the cool air blowing off the lake. And I felt pretty decent.

I decided to do a take a cruise out along Minnehaha, and after I got to 35W, I decided I would take a loop out to my favorite South Minneapolis landmark, the Washburn water tower. Prepare to suffer to get there, it's at the top of a large hill by this city's standards, but you can catch a view of the skyline while the trees are still barren.

After a couple quick minutes to enjoy the view and take a sip of Kona Cola-flavored Nuun,(yum!) I decided to head over to calhoun. I ran up King's highway, and decided to take the long way around Calhoun and I'm thinking,
"How do I feel about a half marathon?"
"I think that's a great idea."
"OK. It's on."

Once I got into SLP, I felt a blister forming on my foot & pulled my sock up. Thankfully I did, because I didn't have any blisters when I got home.

I slipped down one of my favorite streets through SLP, and ran down a hill. This hurt. I really let gravity take over when I'm going down hills, and my footsies were feeling pretty raw.

I finished off my Kona Cola, and felt the wall. Fortunately, I was pretty close to home, and strolled in to the apartment.

I immediately slammed two glasses of Chocolate milk. and then a third. Then I had a fantastic spinach-lentils(70%of my daily allowance of dietary fiber)-gorgonzola-blueberry-viniagrette salad, and about 3 huge glasses of cold water. Cold water tastes fantastic right now.

And I just realized, looking at my Garmin summary: I've never ran that far. 13.39 miles, in a little under 2 hours. And I consumed 0 calories the whole way.

I'm going to sleep well.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Women suck at online dating.

I just had an awesome date where I sang a karaoke duet to "the humpty dance" at the Country bar.

Thank you, Internet.

On to my point. I'd just like to say a few things to women posting profiles on online dating services.

1) All women are looking for "a partner in crime"

Do me a favor and stop saying that shit. Puh-leeease. It's as stupid as it is cliché. Think back to high school/college, and your favorite "partner in crime." He was gay, wasn't he? I thought so.

2) All women want a funny guy.

You love to laugh? NO. FUCKING. WAY.

News Flash
a) There is not a person on this planet who does not like laughing. Even Dick Cheney.
b)All guys who are actually funny are huge dickless incompetents or slovenly creepasaurs.

Deep down, you actually want a guy with money, so go ahead tell the truth. Or, say that you want to date an asshole. I just know you want to date a guy that treats you like a piece of crap 99% of the time.....go ahead. Hey--It's O K . Just Be honest. That's the best policy.

3) I already know that sometimes you want to go out and get dressed up, and sometimes you want to stay in and watch TV.

Uh, me too. I'm also a fucking triathlete that climbs mountains in his spare time. That statement doesn't mean anything more than "I'm a normal American person." Be sure to mention if you're a slasher, or "I'll do anything for coke" that's something worth mentioning.

4) I already know that you're down-to earth.

Really, Gravity works on you too??? Holy shit! We have tons in common!

5) I already know that you're laid back.

Being laid back is tantamount to not being a crystal meth addict. Thanks for the clarification.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Patent Review Meeting

All the king's horses, all the king's men, and well, the kings, cram into a little meeting room.

*One of my designs flashes up on Powerpoint*

CEO: What the hell is this?
Marketing Director, coming to the rescue: This is a device to blah blah blah. We believe that it will be a good add on to differentiate ourselves....
CEO(interrupting): You mean, like the So&So Product that XYZ made back in like 1985?
Marketing Director, R&D Director, and Me in unison: Really?
CEO: Uh, yeah.


So I'm out on a bike ride yesterday out by the lake and around mile 40 just east of Wayzata, I'm coasting down a hill toward a red light. I'm slowing down, a little winded from going up the other side. All of a sudden, I take a huge lungfull of potsmoke.

WTF? you're obviously asking. I would have been more surprised, but this has actually happened before.

I look to my left and, lo & behold, a ridiculous sky-blue Geo Tracker has pulled up next to me, windows down with two early-twenty-somethings giggling like hatters.

As they pass me, I notice the huge Dave Matthews Band sticker across the rear window. do have to be to pretty high to appreciate the crap he's been putting out in the last 5 years.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Mission Accomplished.

This morning I found some Nicotine patches at the bottom of my drawer.

They expired in April of 2005.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Ugh...Not more of this Shit.

I feel like my commentary below has a very pugnacious Bill O'Reilly-esque tone, which makes me feel really uneasy, given that Bill O'Reilly is a mouthpiece for some of the most detestable people on the planet, and is a d-bag of global proportion.

Recently, I saw that there is a new local women's(only) triathlon put on by the YWCA. This is in addition to the Irongirl races, a nationwide set of women only runs, duathlons, and tris. (IronGirl specifically supports the Ullman Cancer Fund for Young Adults.) As far as I can tell, there is no charitable pursuit for the YWCA race other than the fact it will probably profit the YWCA and it's race directors.

Let me set things straight right away. I am wholly in support of gender equality. I am in full support of breast cancer research & research for other forms of female gender specific diseases that these races benefit. You will meet few men who defend reproductive rights more fiercely.

Believe me, as hormone-saturated 20-something male, I have a vested interest to save the tata's.

On to the commentary......

The YWCA's mantra is "Eliminating Racism, Empowering Women." Huh. Interesting. You're going to do that by widening the gender gap??

I understand that women feel the need for celebration of your womanhood, but that with your ya-ya sisterhood-type peer group. Having a womens-only race gives makes me feel like this is Augusta National Golf course on the opposite side of the scale. I don't support such Men's only clubs, and I should expect some serious outrage if I organized a men's only triathlon.

Along a similar line, I understand the Curves for Women model, that some women feel intimidated being around other fit people or even sketchy Bill O'Reilly types at the gym. But this case is different--in order to compete in your ~2.5 hour triathlon, you're going to need to spend at least 20 times that the beach, the pool, on the road/bikepath/spin class, and the running trail/public sidewalks/gym treadmill, etc. To be succinct--you're going to have to try damn hard in order to pull all of that off in a man-free environment.

You're going to empower women by placing them in a women only environment? I simply fail to see the logic. So much for the empowerment. Who's going to witness all this power? If a tree falls in the woods but nobody is around to hear, does it make a sound? Get my drift? This all sounds to me like preaching to the choir, beating a dead horse, spinning tires, and (tee hee)running in circles.

By all means, HAVE a race to support YWCA's causes. I don't care if you make every man & woman wear pink long as EVERYONE is allowed to participate.

In all honesty, I personally wouldn't give a shit if there was one unisex bathroom in all public places. Although I do appreciate the short lines, I would see this as a step towards gender equality. All women reading this are saying, "Uh, YUCK!" in utter revulsion----to which I reply, "DOUBLE STANDARD!" You want equality but still insist on playing the "separate but equal" game. The courts ruled that separation does not equal equality among races, and I believe the same holds true for gender. Until then, I'll appreciate the extra 15% pay.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Prolific couple weeks

Work has been pretty exciting in the last few weeks.

Our patent attorney has on his desk at least 5 different concepts that I've either conceived, designed, or both.

I really feel like I'm discovering & fostering some hidden talents, and it turns out that having a creative mind in an engineering office can make you useful.

I really feel like I'm finding my place at my company, I feel more valuable, I'm enjoying work more, and I feel like a well-defined career path is becoming more & more apparent.

Base Training is over

Yesterday, after a long 2 hour bike followed by a 30 minute treadmill run, base training officially concluded for the first half of my tri season.

Today, I felt a little stiff, and in lieu of an hour run with some pickups, I did some lifting. To warm up however, I hopped on the treadmill, and after getting the blood moving, I "pushed on the throttle" a bit, and took the treadmill up fast.

It felt good. Even more encouraging was how effortless the speed I was at, ~8.5mph, felt. That's way faster than last year's best pace.

I thought all that base stuff was a waste of time, but maybe that guy who wrote Triathlete's Training Bible knows what he's talking about. We'll see, I guess.

I hope he's right, because I really don't want all those miles I ran around town at a ridiculously slow pace to be a waste of time.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Cervelo Porn.

I'm really anxious to ride.