I just had an awesome date where I sang a karaoke duet to "the humpty dance" at the Country bar.
Thank you, Internet.
On to my point. I'd just like to say a few things to women posting profiles on online dating services.
1) All women are looking for "a partner in crime"
Do me a favor and stop saying that shit. Puh-leeease. It's as stupid as it is cliché. Think back to high school/college, and your favorite "partner in crime." He was gay, wasn't he? I thought so.
2) All women want a funny guy.
You love to laugh? NO. FUCKING. WAY.
News Flash
a) There is not a person on this planet who does not like laughing. Even Dick Cheney.
b)All guys who are actually funny are huge dickless incompetents or slovenly creepasaurs.
Deep down, you actually want a guy with money, so go ahead tell the truth. Or, say that you want to date an asshole. I just know you want to date a guy that treats you like a piece of crap 99% of the time.....go ahead. Hey--It's O K . Just Be honest. That's the best policy.
3) I already know that sometimes you want to go out and get dressed up, and sometimes you want to stay in and watch TV.
Uh, me too. I'm also a fucking triathlete that climbs mountains in his spare time. That statement doesn't mean anything more than "I'm a normal American person." Be sure to mention if you're a slasher, or "I'll do anything for coke"....now that's something worth mentioning.
4) I already know that you're down-to earth.
Really, Gravity works on you too??? Holy shit! We have tons in common!
5) I already know that you're laid back.
Being laid back is tantamount to not being a crystal meth addict. Thanks for the clarification.
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4 comments:
That last comment had two typos.
Not to brag (okay, a little) but I just got the following message:
"If the goal of writing a profile is to come off as the "total package", well, you just might have pulled it off."
We don't all suck at writing profiles. (I just suck at the actual dating/relationship part....)
Saying I want a dude who has an income that is equal to or greater than mine isn't bad, is it? However, having an income that equals mine kind of sucks. Shit, I guess I do want a dude with a few bucks. A few, not a ton. People with tons of bucks are, as you said, assholes. The subject of money is so frustrating.
My search and your's continues...
Personally speaking, credit score is far more important to me than income. Someone can be making six figures and still be in the red. Not sexy.
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