Top 8 reasons Why I don't plan on doing an Ironman anytime soon.

When meeting new people, I am almost always popped the question: "So have you done an Ironman?" I have not, I don't plan to, and here's why.

This will probably not be a popular opinion.

1. “Mate, you should get the families on board when you are doing athlete planning. I have seen far too many relationships screwed up by this sport.” -- Greg Bennett, World Champion Triathlete/Husband. I lose enough time from my friends & family while training the way it is. I don't plan on alienating myself, or neglecting family & friends more. I feel like I've already made this mistake already, and I will not do it again. One day, I'm going to meet the right girl, and my relationship with her will become a focal point of my life. Over everything else. I know that I need to stay fit to be a well balanced person, and I will continue to do that, but racing will be second priority, bar none. In my understanding, Ironman requires top priority.

2. “If I don’t race for the rest of my life then I might be able to repair the damage that I did to myself”-- Mark Allen, 6-time Ironman World Champion. That's right. Does nobody realize that running a marathon after a 6 hour bike ride might be bad for your joints? I'm into triathlon to maintain a healthy lifestyle, and knee replacements are not healthy-or cheap. I do plan on riding my bike until I die, and destroying my cartilidge and ligaments is not how to do that.

3. Ironman sells out in just about every location in North America and Europe, and all of them are inherently mass start. That means there are ~2500 people in the water simultaneously, and although that doesn't mean too much to me as a strong swimmer, the amount of people on bikes directly thereafter does. People draft in Ironman, and they do alot of it. They do it in the road racing too, but not on Time Trial bikes(except under specific circumstances with highly trained elites--and it's dangerous enough that they've stopped doing it in the Tour de France). Drafting while in aerobars is a recipe for serious crashes--they happen every year on the Gear West ride. Should I pick an iron distance, it will be Lanzarote or (the non IM-sanctioned) Norseman. They're both hilly like IM Wisconsin, and although the climates are forbidding, unlike Wisconsin, they are at least predictable. I can guarantee you that those races aren't cheaterfests.

4. Ironman is rife with people who are not triathletes. There's increasing percentages of Ironman newcomers out there to prove something to themselves or to other people. It is because of these people that there is a 17 hour time limit, as opposed to a 13 hour or 12 hour time limit. Many of these imposters also seem to think that they become members of some type of physically elite club. Bullshit. Unless you're a 78 year old ex-nun, call me back when you break 11 hours. Instead, you are part of a group that had enough money to buy a bike, a wetsuit, probably race wheels, and running shoes while taking 6 months of your life and investing it into one race. To be honest, I'm fine with the fact that these people are proliferating the sport, and spending money on my dear local bike shops.

5. It's way too expensive, and you pretty much need to make it into a vacation. a) $450+ entry fee + hotel room + airfare + airline fee for shipping your precious bike + meals away from home. That's an entire season of "short course" racing for me. b) Spending half of a vacation with butterflies in my stomach, and the other half unable to walk up stairs is not necessarily my idea of excitement. I'll be skiing, climbing, or riding my bike in the mountains. Perhaps I'm living in a luxurious dreamworld, since I can race within an hour of the Twin Cities every weekend all summer.

6. "Ironman is about training volume, digestion and pacing. People don't like to hear this message because most of us can't handle the necessary volume in our schedules, or our constitutions."-Gordo Byrn, World class pro & Triathlon coach. Ironman generally requires about 25 weeks of training. The training required, most non-triathletes may be surprised to know, is not necessarily intense. Ironman training, by in large, involves high amounts of training volume at low intensities -- i.e. heart rates in zone 1 & 2 for all but elite amateurs & the pros. Sorry, but I like to ride, run, and swim FAST. If I don't feel nuked after a critical training session, I feel like I wasted my time. Don't get me wrong--the half iron that I completed was far from easy. In fact, it was the 2nd most difficult race I completed. (the first being the Noquemanon.)

7. Ironman isn't even the most extreme anymore. Off the top of my head, I give you:
Ultraman: Day 1: Swim 6.2 miles & bike 90. Day 2: Bike 171.4 Day 3: Run 52.4
RAAM: Race your bike from the Pacific to the Atlantic. My friend Rachel holds a record for this, by the way.
Newton/Suzuki 24 hour tri: Short course triathlon course. Rinse & repeat for 24 hours non-stop.
Badwater: Run 135 miles across Death Valley. Oh yeah.... And you ascend only 13,000' of elevation.
Furnace Creek 508: Ride your bike 508 miles through Death Valley. In less than 48 hours. And you have to climb 35000' elevation.
Antarctica Marathon: 26.2 while being chased by Polar Bears.

8. I know that the top of the mountain rarely holds as much reward as the climb there. I'm in this all for the lifestyle, not the finish photos. After all these people have "done it to do it," they'll wander aimlessly for the next thing. I know what I want. And I'll probably pick up their barely used bike on Craigslist for super cheap.
sidenote: chances are you'll have your finish photo ruined by some yahoo in front of you running down the chute with his wife, his 6 kids, their dog, the next door neighbor's kids, and their great aunt Thelma.

If you've read this far, your question to me is: "So you've never done an ironman, and you dare knock it?" My answer: Hey. I really like triathlon. I watch & pay attention to Ironman athletes-they have incredible motivation & genes. (Peter Reid is a personal hero) Ironman racing on TV is responsible for many people trying out local races. But I think Ironman is inherently poisoned, and I'll stay a spectator for now.