Michael Phelps Facts.

Michael eats silver medals as a pre-workout snack. And he doesn't chew.

Michael taught dolphins how to dolphin kick.

The new Speedo LZR suit is actually made with threads infused with the DNA of Michael Phelps.

Michael eats 12,000 calories a day and is RIPPED.

Michael can bake 30 minute brownies in 20 minutes.

Even if another swimmer could swim as fast as Michael, he wouldn't get in front of him in sheer fear of being sucked into his mouth like the intake of a jet engine.

Michael's sperm actually do the butterfly.

Michael actually sponsors Speedo, not the other way around.

Michael told George W. Bush that he was, in fact, not the decider.

Michael has gold plated gills behind his ears.

Michael is going to use his 9 gold medals to open the ninth gate to Atlantis.

Michael Phelps was born with a turbocharger in his trachea.

Michael Phelp's girlfriend is actually a Formula 1 twin hull speed boat.

Environmental scientists are now researching a new alternative energy by having Michael Phelps swim laps around a tidal generator. Unfortunately, it's not very green, because Michael Phelps actually consumes more calories than an SR-71 blackbird.

Scientists at NASA are currently attempting to determine the materials which compose Michael Phelps's balls in an attempt to create the strongest material on earth.

Michael actually pisses liquid excellence.

After the Olympics are over, Michael plans to continue humiliating the Chinese by freeing Tibet.

Michael plans to reduce his carbon footprint after Beijing by swimming back to Baltimore instead of flying. The waves created will actually cause rivers in China to flow backwards, fertilizing the rural rice paddies with nitrate rich waste.

IM no longer means "individual medley." It means "Invincible Michael"