Please answer all questions honestly so dem neighbors of yers can git to know ya betterrrrr dontcha know?
1. First of all, where in Minnesota do(did) you live?
SLP (which is [jewish]Ghetto Code for Saint Louis Park)
2. What's your favorite lake in MN?
It's my equivalent to Walden Pond. Someday, I'm going to spend a few days there. Just me sharing the chairs with the hippy-dippy-friendly dragonflies.
3. Have you ever been ice fishing?
No. I get my fish from the freezer section. My time out in the cold is only enjoyed if there are ski's on my feet.
5. Do you go four-wheeling?
When I go home, I always get the ATV out. I used to love that thing when I was in highschool. I was reckless enough to learn how to drive it on 2 wheels Dukes of Hazzard style.
6. Do you go snowmobiling?
The last time I went snowmobiling was a near death experience. I was hopping snowdrifts along a snowfence, and gunned it to jump the next. The snowmo's skis dug into the drift instead of plowing over it, and I went through the windshield, flipping onto my back. The snowmo stopped as it tapped my helmet. Had it gone 3 more feet, it would have pinned me down under a 500 pound machine.
When I got back on, I discovered that when I flew off, my leg *by chance* hit the kill switch.
7. Did you go trick-or-treating in that snow storm of 1991?
I was in North Dakota. And I was probably not trick or treating at that time.
8. Do you go camping?
When I can. I love the SHT and the BWCAW
9. Do you ever use the word "spendy"?
Yeah, actually. Is that minnesotan?
10. Does your vehicle have rust on it or salt damage?
No. The body where rust might show up is mostly plastic though.
11. Have your locks ever frozen shut?
Negatory. The windows freeze shut from time to time, and I can't spit out the window then.
12. Have you ever built a snow fort taller than you?
I used to roll massive snow boulders that were way taller than me. I would start with a snowball, and roll it in the snow, picking up more and more. I stopped and started a new one when I couldn't push it any farther.
13. Where did you go sledding as a child?
There was only one place for me to go, as flat as it was around the farm. My grandparents were starting to build a root cellar, and abandoned the idea after digging a big hole in the ground. The dirt was placed into a large pile next to it. So my cousins and I climbed to the top of the hill and sledded into the hole. It was AWESOME.
14. Have you ever ice skated outdoors?
Yes, but not since last winter. I played one game of hockey with Thoele, a guy and his kid, and a few random dudes.
15. Did you ever get your tongue stuck to something outside in the winter?
Yes. But I was fucking stupid.
16. Did you ever pour water over something on purpose in the winter to make it slippery?
No. But I wish I was smart enough to have done something so clever.
17. Did you ever have snow slushies?
Yep. The snow around the farm was pristine.
18. Have you ever accidentally gone to school on a day where school was cancelled due to weather?
I don't remember. I do remember going to school one day when it was -70F (with windchill)
19. Did you ever throw a snowball in someone's face?
I'm pretty sure Tim took one or two in the face.
20. Do you prefer St. Cloud area or Twin Cities area?
Twin Cities
21. Do you like city or country?
Both. Depends. I like living in the city, and leaving it for the country.
22. Have you ever had more than one tick on you at a time?
More than one? I used to always run around in the woods. I probably supported colonies of ticks when i was a kid.
23. Have you ever burned garbage in a bon fire?
No, but I was at a redneck party (somehow) in Ramsey a few weeks ago where the hosts were throwing old chairs and couches into the bonfire. They would see how long they could sit in them before it got to hot. This was like watching a trainwreck, to me.
24. Have you ever gone to a Twins game?
Yes. Ho. Fucking. Hum.
25. Have you ever gone to a Vikings game?
When I was like 6 years old. Haven't been to one since. Don't really care to go either.
26. Have you ever gone to a Wild game?
Negatory. Maybe one of these days I'll go see the Lacrosse team.
27. Did you ever forget to wear pants under your snow pants?
I have been photographed in knee deep snow wearing only my dad's cowboy boots and tighty-whiteys.
28. Do you eat icicles?
No. I usually pull them down and throw them at something that it will stick into, or shatter upon.
30. Do you own a dog that has gotten sprayed by a skunk?
Sam and Wendy both got nailed by skunks.
31. Do you drink Boone's Farm?
I have, but I don't.
32. Do you drink beer?
When it's free. or in my fridge.
33. Do you have at least one friend who has a beard?
I sorta get along with a republican guy at work who does.
34. Do you say "so" before you start a sentence most the time?
Again, is this really that minnesotan?
35. Do you carry an ice scraper in your car all year?
Yes, except in the summer, I call it a "Hummvee paintjob fucker upper."
36. Do you have to add sand bags to the bed of your truck?
I don't have a truck, but if I did, I wouldn't need to, because it would be a 4 wheel drive. What kind of morons buy 2 wheel drive trucks? Oh, yeah. The redneck variety of morons.
37. Have you ever gotten a leech stuck to you?
only the human female variety.
38. Have you ever caught a snapper?
I've done lots of things to snappers, but I don't think I've ever caught one.
39. Do you own your own fishing pole?
Never have.
40. What's your favorite restraunt?
Birchwood cafe or French Meadow. Or Herkimer. or Marla's Kitchen....all depending on my mood.
41. What's your favorite club?
A baseball bat with a huge nail pounded into it, which is used to savagely pummel people with spinner rims on cadillacs.
42. What's your favorite park?
Theo Wirth.
43. Which place in Minnesota has the best scenery/view?
The Pro & Elite Women's waves at the Lifetime Triathlon.
Kawishiwi?
a couple high ridges at George Crosby Manitou Park, the top of Lutsen.
Even Calhoun at dusk ain't too bad.
44. Where's your favorite place to cruise?
I like to go running past all those motorcycle fags who cruise calhoun oggling all the women.
You= pudgy guy showing off his motorcycle's big engine.
Me= the engine that the women are paying attention to.
45. Which grocery store do you shop at?
Byerlys--Roma Tomatoes, Apples, tonic water, texas champagne, those yummy Terra chips, bulk lentils, superspicy hummus, oysters, .
Trader Joe's--everything else
46. Have you ever partied in a barn?
If by "partied," you mean "Sneezed"; Yes.
47. Do you like keg beer?
I like FREE beer.
48. Have you ever gone hunting?
Plenty of times. And really.....it's pretty boring. Maybe that's what Dick Cheney was thinking when he shot that guy in the face. He might've also been thinking that 8 Pabst's per person in the hunting party wasn't enough for the day.
49. Do you have a tattoo of a butterfly?
No. But, I got a tattoo/scar on my ankle from my big chainring the other day.
50. Do you smoke cigarettes?
I did for a while. And then I stopped.
51. Does your heritage include Polish, German, or Scandinavian?
Norwegian. and I think there's some Russian German in there too.
52. Are you catholic?
No. Abstinence is the leading cause of immaculate conceptions, as far as I'm concerned, Ms. Mary.
53. Have you ever been swimming in a river in Minnesota?
No. Rivers are great places to drown.
54. What's your favorite thing about Minnesota?
The fact that most of it's still pretty clean and sparsely populated. (Irony that I choose to live in the city)
55. Whats one thing you don't like about Minnesota?
Michelle Bachman. That crazy bitch pisses me off.
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