The Good news is....

Good News: EK and I have spent 3 fun weekends in a row out of town, Much of it time for just the two of us.

Good News: My grandfather is feeling well and gaining weight after a few rounds of radiation treatments

Good News: My car is at 165000 miles and working great.

Good News: I just ran 18 miles on a relatively hot, humid day. Despite hitting a hard wall, I finished. Finishing 26.2 feels within reach.

Good News: I continue to discover great people around me.

Good News: I got to see my parents and niece yesterday. My niece is growing so fast.

Good News: 6 months for EK and I passed on Friday. We had homemade Pizza and super good chocolate.

Absence

-Watching every minute of the tour
-Marathon training: ~30 miles/week
-Trip to ND/ Badlands w/ EK
-Only triathlon of the season tomorrow

Lately...

I've been really busy. I took a darling girl out on valentine's day and she's all I can think about. For the purpose of pseudo anonymity, she'll be known as EK.

This weekend has been full, and a slice of what I've been up to.

Friday afternoon, we met up with her mother and saw a Swedish film called Ciao Bella, an indy romantic comedy about a nerdy teenage Iranian-Swede who gets a transformation when hooking up with an Italian soccer team in town.
Afterwards, we hit Spoon River and had a killer meal. I had steak and EK had an incredible vegetarian meal. She had the better meal. We had great conversation. I learned more about her, and found increasing similarity on life philosophy.

I ran 7 miles in the morning(while EK ran her Saturday morning ritual 13 miles with her sis-in-law), cleaned up & had a nap, hooked up with J-Mo, and went up to my sister's to see my new niece, Julia Faith, and parents who were in town. I completely abstained from anything but a glass of Shiraz, anticipating a good meal that evening with EK. (she'd been at a shower all afternoon)
We were able to get a seat a Lucia, and had an incredible seared tuna appetizer complete with delectable microgreens. I had some very OK chicken while she had cod and a "saffron fideos" which was also a 10/10.

We called it a night and woke up smiling at each other. We made plans for the day and made breakfast -- oatmeal (with all kinds of tasty nuts, dates, and maple syrup added), grapefruit, super strong coffee, and some cardamom coffee cake her mom made. We did some trip planning for Iceland (oh yeah... we're going to Iceland next month!)

After that, we followed through on our plans to get fitted for new running shoes, catch up with her sis-in-law at her studio @ the U, and saw Kautekino Rebellion -- an incredible film about an uprising that caused many Norwegians to move to Minnesota. We split back and spent some quality time together before she had book club, so I went to Target, Barnes & Noble, and the grocer before heading home.

I'm exhausted. And I can't wait to see her again.

I'm very happy.

Overload

Sorry for the complete lack of material here, but I've been stupidly busy lately.

Last week I was trying to finish "The Stone Raft" by Jose Saramego before book club. I knocked down 110 pages within 24 hours but still didn't finish. Fortunately I got much farther than anyone else in the club. My little brother showed up in town that night too.

I'm always trying to manage Rotaract's community service committee better; we have tons of events coming up, including a service project of our committee's creation. It will be good.

I'm still working on the scholarship application, and the essays are coming together slowly. Seriously -- they have to be $25000 good. I'm trying to tie world peace with Biomedical/Clinical engineering. While talking to a scholarship committee guy, he volunteered me for helping him start up a whole new Rotaract club.

Work has been ridiculous. I've been busy working on a side project within our project mandated by our VP that is completely useless. Incredible how powerful & wealthy stupid people can become. At the end of the task, we will know nothing new except for some calculated numbers.

I really sucked at my ski league this year. It's over, and I"ll do it next year. Hopefully I can get some practice in for the 2010 season.

I've had literally such little time that the only time I've had for working out is before work, and 5:10am does just not agree with me. It really hasn't made much difference that all the XC ski trails are trashed. Fortunately, the bike is on the trainer in my room, and I can watch ski flicks on my laptop. I'm going for a run right now in the snow.

After that, it's out & about with my dad & brother in law.

Busy Year Ahead

Big plans ahead.



By the way, this was created using Mindjet Mindmanager. It's one of the best tools I've ever used to organize this blizzard of a brain I have. I use it at work daily.

A loss. And life anew.

Thursday was a funeral for a great friend member of the family. Cal was my grandfather's cousin, and perhaps one of his greatest friends. As far removed as this section of the family is, I had not met Cal until he was literally 100 years old.

The ceremony itself was in a small Scandinavian church near the river, and afterwards I was able to meet a crowd of new relatives. A sad occasion, but a great thing was realized: People connected! I met some great people and it turns out they're relatives and they live nearby.

From what I know about Cal, there is nothing more that he would desire on that day than exactly what happened. Smiles, handshakes, new friendships. What better to come from death than birth?

Cal's 100th was celebrated on a rainy day.

Here's to rain, and the flowers it brings.

A mid year's resolution

In my apartment, there will always be an open(or half corked) bottle of red wine.

To my health.

Cheers!

Impulse

So right now I have this intense urge to cut my hair off. As in, a total buzzcut--which could potentially morph into a part like I used to have as a kid. I'm kinda getting sick of long hair at this moment, and it always grows back, right?

Anyone wanna talk me outta this?

2008 starts off with a blast......

......from my gut, into a toilet. Glad I've got that out of the way.

On a much better note, I had good friend next to me coaching me along. And that friend had me at her party. Where I got to have free booze. and tasty homemade potstickers. Really, really good friends are hard to come by, and I've got some great ones.

To summarize 2007, (the nth consecutive )best year of my life...

Foreign countries visited: 3
US states visited: 8
Triathlons raced: 3
Mountain bike races: 3
XC ski marathons completed: 2
Mountains climbed: 4
New bikes: one
Miles Biked: about 3000
Miles Ran: 150.3 (below par for me, actually)
Days downhill skiing: 12
Days XC skiing: at least 28
Concerts: 4
$ spent fixing my car: $4765.11 (excluding oil changes)
Photos taken: 3288
Prints sold: 1
Medical Devices to market: 2 (about damn time for one of them)
Hearts Broken: 3 (I'm so sorry.)

Rollercoaster

I've been going up and down for weeks now. Athough today wasn't great, here's what I wrote to myself on Tuesday.

"Today I feel very strong, and very in control. My mood is sad, but confident in my ability . I'm on the verge of tears, but I feel like I can go through my feelings, yet simultaneously use my inner strength to be at peace. I'm not quite sure if these tears are from sadness, or joy, or faith. Maybe both.

I feel although times are more difficult than ever, I can focus on my being, measure my problems, solve them, improve, and become a better person. I'm very confident in my inner strength.

During times like these, I often find solace and strength in doing new things and improving myself. Take yourself to your point of failure, and recover stronger. Challenging your limits always makes your world bigger.

I think I've found the bottom! And now that I've stopped falling, I can see that I'm still alive, and I can see the way out!"

I hope to have more days like this.

My Plant committed Suicide

My aloe plant killed itself in the last few days. I discovered it today on the balcony, uprooted.

You see, it always seems like the damn thing would never just grow straight up. It always liked to grow sideways. Even when I'd turn it away from the sun, hoping it would reach towards the fiery ball, and thus center it's course upward, it would not comply. It finally just started growning down over the pot onto the floor.

Maybe it didn't like being cut all the time to soothe my sunburn or something, bnd in the last couple days, it had enough weight to leverage its own roots out of the soil. It was mostly krinkly brown....we'll see if any of my effors to re-root some small offshoots works.

Clawing Myself Apart

I have come to the realization that I'm am OZ's Cowardly Lion.

I have the strength to do anything I want, but I've been too scared to take a risk.

I don't know who said it, but there lies a great deal of truth in this quote: "Falling in love is not for cowards."

As a child, I never understood that the articles that the Wizard gave the Lion, the Woodsman and the Scarecrow were only placebos. He tricked them into having faith in themselves.

I'm sick of being a coward. I'm ready to use my claws. I'm ready to take what I want. I'm ready to stop clawing myself.

Wild Realization & Infinite Optimism

The other day I got a portfolio from my boss's office. I have to select from a bunch of different gifts/trinkets for recognition of my 5th year of service at my company.

"Holy Crap!", exclaimed the disillusioned late-twentysomething.

I was in college for 5 years. On June 4th, I'll have spent more time at this job than I did in college. NOW THAT IS HEAVY SHIT.

I can say, however, that the last 5 years have been decisively better than the 5 before that. I'm wholeheartedly looking forward to life's treasures in the next 5 trips around the sun, and hopefully, the next 70 after that. and I hope I can share it with you all.
.......
I'll be getting the binoculars with the company's emblem mounted onto them in gold.

Basic Bicycle Maintenance...

If you ever need a pedal wrench, don't buy one. I already did, and it was in a fit of rage.

I'll let you borrow mine.

A few weeks ago, I bought some new pedals & cycling shoes(the most expensive shoes I've EVER bought) and was VERY excited to take a ride with them on that very sunny & warm spring day ...

I carefully installed the cleats onto my shoes, and got out my toolset to take the old pedals off my bike. I grabbed my crescent wrench with my muscled arm in the same fashion my father, grandfather, and great-grandfather have been doing for the last 110 years.

I yanked. And yanked on that motherfucker until I rounded off part of the nut on the pedal. "Ah, SHIT!" I yelled as I wiped the beading sweat from my brow. I deduced the thread was seized, so I sprayed some WD40 on the threads and waited anxiously for a half hour as the daylight burned away....

I tried again, this time on a different orientation to the smashed hardened Chrome-Molybdenum steel on my first try. I looked at my hand, which had the reddest & deepest indentation I've ever seen on flesh. No more screwing around. I can get some ice later.

I close my eyes and mustered every last sodium-potassium receptor in my left bicep, deltoid, and lat. I feel the wrench move abruptly.........because I broke the wrench.

Our hero spreads his arms, fists clenched, teeth bared and looks to the sky/ceiling while emitting a primal roar.

I come to consciousness in my car headed toward the nearest bike shop, Erik's in St. Louis Park, to get a pedal wrench and slap down $30. Yes. I paid $30---a satisfying evening at the Herkimer.....for one wrench. This wrench has a slot to grasp the pedal nut, and a long handle. That's it.

I got home and pulled the wrench from it's bag. Which....appeared to have directions on the back.

Huh....the left pedal has a reverse thread.

Oh.


I had a good ride.

Hangovers

Hangovers for me start early in the morning when I wake up dehydrated. And while stumbling towards the sink, I usually decide in my half-consciousness that I don't want to be alive. You're so dehydrated that your knee and elbow joints actually creak like an old hardwood floor. On the way I might stop by at the bathroom to rid myself of the 6 martinis still slam dancing about in my bladder. I often ponder just how my body can change gin into gasoline, because that's what it feels like.

Back to bed as soon as possible after drinking the local aquifers dry, I usually pass out a second time. So fast that I'm out before my face meets pillow, and I collapse into a awkward position that will cause an arm to get cut off from circulation, and it will be completely numb & limp by the time I wake up again.

When I wake up with the alarm, I begin to believe that someone, perhaps Chuck Norris, spent the night repeatedly kicking me square in the forehead. This feeling usually transcends two very stiff cups of coffee. The saturation of alcohol on my breath makes me scan my memory of the night before to see if it contains me open mouth kissing a top-fuel dragster.

And the gas. Low in quantity but high in potency, I think it's possible that the secret ingredient in Herkimer's sweet potato fries is weapons grade plutonium. Mmmmmm.

After coffee number 4, I've burnt off most of the acute symptoms, but the glaze will stay for the rest of the day. This is where you almost feel normal, but your brain is fogged over like your windshield on a spring morning. You can sorta see where you're going, but everything is sort of fuzzy & distorted. This state of being is strange, because time can either move quickly or slowly. It moves slowly when you think of your bed. However, once you get back to your desk and stare wide eyed at your monitor, you watch time click off so fast that 30 minutes can pass in between eyeblinks. And a complete time travel experience can occur when your boss is giving you critical action items: complete sentences are lost into a space-time vortex. Yawns frequently outlast the amount of air in your lungs, which makes you kind of gag. The first four words in the sentences that come out of your mouth are usually the same as the last four words are the same as the first four words.

This surreal state makes any semblance of critical thinking nearly impossible, but it is very possible to be productive in this realm. In the course of a normal day, interruptions by incompetents is the greatest factor of not-getting-anything-done-ness, but all it takes is a split second stare with your vacant soulless eyes to send hellish fear into your interrupter. Even the people on the phone.

Driving home usually takes about 3 or 4 eternities. Everyone moron on the road is driving way too slow. or those motherfuckers are driving way too fast, cutting you off. I just want to get to my couch. Please?


I got a good hour nap in this afternoon before I had to drive back out to Chanhassen for my first Triathlon training class at Lifetime. We spun for 50 minutes, and then ran for another 30. I didn't feel too bad.

I still feel kinda crappy. I'm going to bed.

Intuition

I've never been able to trust my intuition, particularly when it comes to deciphering the difference between what people are saying and what they are thinking.

Early last week, I could tell I was not being told the entire truth, and I decided that the speech patterns, the non verbals, and the overall scent in the air were completely illusions fabricated in my head. Which is what I do 99 percent of the time when my instincts are trying to tell me something. It is certainly possible for intuition to be wrong, but I have a feeling now that I've been right way more often than I've been wrong.

I'm beginning to understand that I've always had a keen sense of all this, but I'm absolutely nonplussed by my reluctantance to accept the jumping-up-and-down observations of my subconscious/id. I guess the cognitive dissonance of knowing that someone you trust is not being candid with you is difficult to accept.

I think the silver lining to this is that I should have the common sense to trust myself before anyone else. So I'm gonna work on doing just that. Sad that I'm nearly 27 years old and figuring this shit out just now.

Nothing like clarity on a rainy day.

This Week

If my week hadn't been stupendous, it would've really sucked.

A near Perfect day

Yesterday was a work Holiday. I was paid without having to take vacation time.

My day:
Coffee & Baileys
*censored*
Lunch at Salut
-Summit Winter
-Blue Cheese Burger
REI
Watch Office Space
Starbucks
Get Wine
-Cabernet Savignon
-Pinot Nior
Watch High Society: Ski Movie 2
Jimmy Johns
Red Dragon
-Red Dragon Special
-Almond Delight
-Wonderous Punch
-3/4 Almond Delight
Trocaderos
-Tanqueray Martini
Amy's Apartment
-Cabernet
-Mac & Cheese
-Crackers & Cheese
-Water
-Water
-Water
-Water
-More Water
Wake up in Amy's roommate's bed, fully clothed, including my winter coat.
-No Hangover
The Egg & I
-Coffee
-Ice Water
-Blueberry Multigrain Pancakes
-Sunnyside Eggs with Tabasco

Fortune Cookie

I love fortune cookies. Well, I love fortunes from fortune cookies. My most prized fortune reads:

"You will never find a better sparring partner than adversity."

We've Lost Something

I see children everywhere. I speak specifically of the little kind -- the ones just learning to talk and walk. At the grocery store, the park, around my building. Not alone, of course, but do you ever notice something about them? They're way different than we are; like a different race it seems.

They're humanity in its rawest form. It can be easy for us to become ensnared in life's bullshit, to feel defeated, but I'm always filled with hope and exultance when little strangers say hi to me. Gaze at you for a second and then laugh at the top of their lungs. Or run over and hug your leg. And always smiling at you, at everyone.

It's how we humans were meant to be, you know.