I've been bombarded at work the last couple weeks, and I just wanted a few minutes yesterday to relax over lunch, but was interrupted not less than 6 times in 1 hour.
It was over noon hour.
I was reading a book.
I had earbuds in. (they were not plugged into anything)
A co-worker a few cubes over, observing only the inflection in my voice stopped in late and said, "man....you need to chill."
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Work. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I deserve the wine I'm drinking and the salary I'm making
A product build was going on and a failure was detected. I was the only person looking at the data who could identify that the failure was a false reading. Including a one or two talented engineers.
The build was worth at least $80,000--which would have been thrown in the garbage. Corrective actions could have easily added another $40,000.
What makes this a bit of a sad story--the data that I analyzed is typical of that described early on in a sophomore level mechanical engineering course, and a cornerstone of solid body mechanics.
A one-eyed man is king in the land of blindness.
The build was worth at least $80,000--which would have been thrown in the garbage. Corrective actions could have easily added another $40,000.
What makes this a bit of a sad story--the data that I analyzed is typical of that described early on in a sophomore level mechanical engineering course, and a cornerstone of solid body mechanics.
A one-eyed man is king in the land of blindness.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
New Rule
On worknights,
Respectfully decline a third round of drinks after midnight. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but it's not. Also, if it's midnight, going to another bar is not a good idea either.
Despite my "high spirits" today, the 24 afternoon minute commute home took an eternity, and once I fell down, I couldn't get up, missing out on a pretty decent afternoon to be on my bike.
Respectfully decline a third round of drinks after midnight. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but it's not. Also, if it's midnight, going to another bar is not a good idea either.
Despite my "high spirits" today, the 24 afternoon minute commute home took an eternity, and once I fell down, I couldn't get up, missing out on a pretty decent afternoon to be on my bike.
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Dr. Thork.
In the Operating Room earlier today....
Ok, ok. It was not on a human, but a porcine patient in a study for work.
In case you're wondering, the animal was anesthetized beforehand & during, was operated on using minimally invasive devices, and was euthanized afterwards--still while under anesthesia.
Hopefully (& likely) something good will come of it in the form of cheaper, more reliable & versatile devices for physicians to treat sick people worldwide.
Ok, ok. It was not on a human, but a porcine patient in a study for work.
In case you're wondering, the animal was anesthetized beforehand & during, was operated on using minimally invasive devices, and was euthanized afterwards--still while under anesthesia.
Hopefully (& likely) something good will come of it in the form of cheaper, more reliable & versatile devices for physicians to treat sick people worldwide.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Patent Review Meeting
All the king's horses, all the king's men, and well, the kings, cram into a little meeting room.
*One of my designs flashes up on Powerpoint*
CEO: What the hell is this?
Marketing Director, coming to the rescue: This is a device to blah blah blah. We believe that it will be a good add on to differentiate ourselves....
CEO(interrupting): You mean, like the So&So Product that XYZ made back in like 1985?
Marketing Director, R&D Director, and Me in unison: Really?
CEO: Uh, yeah.
*One of my designs flashes up on Powerpoint*
CEO: What the hell is this?
Marketing Director, coming to the rescue: This is a device to blah blah blah. We believe that it will be a good add on to differentiate ourselves....
CEO(interrupting): You mean, like the So&So Product that XYZ made back in like 1985?
Marketing Director, R&D Director, and Me in unison: Really?
CEO: Uh, yeah.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Prolific couple weeks
Work has been pretty exciting in the last few weeks.
Our patent attorney has on his desk at least 5 different concepts that I've either conceived, designed, or both.
I really feel like I'm discovering & fostering some hidden talents, and it turns out that having a creative mind in an engineering office can make you useful.
I really feel like I'm finding my place at my company, I feel more valuable, I'm enjoying work more, and I feel like a well-defined career path is becoming more & more apparent.
Our patent attorney has on his desk at least 5 different concepts that I've either conceived, designed, or both.
I really feel like I'm discovering & fostering some hidden talents, and it turns out that having a creative mind in an engineering office can make you useful.
I really feel like I'm finding my place at my company, I feel more valuable, I'm enjoying work more, and I feel like a well-defined career path is becoming more & more apparent.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Suh-Weet email today.
Date:3/15/2008
To: Thork
From: R&D Director
CC: R&D Manager, CEO, COO
RE: New Design
----------------------
THIS ROCKS!
Let's start the paperwork to get this patented.
To: Thork
From: R&D Director
CC: R&D Manager, CEO, COO
RE: New Design
----------------------
THIS ROCKS!
Let's start the paperwork to get this patented.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Creep
So there was this manager at my company who suspiciously disappeared about 2 years ago.
He was a total prick, completely condescending to me, and his work seemed like something that could be product of a sixth grader with a bad attitude. He was middle aged, seemed "very tidy," very opinionated about quality, always wore sweaters & wire rimmed glasses, etc.... He belittled me one time, in a meeting in front of other people, for having a Viagra pen. (I thought it was cool, OK?) "How embarrassing" he said. "The fucking nerve you have! I could kick your ass into next Tuesday," I thought.
Fortunately, I didn't have to work with him directly, and rarely had to deal with his nincompoopery.
I'd learned officially that he'd be "gone indefinitely" because he ended up missing a few days of work. I learned through the grapevine that he was in jail for beating his wife. Something I kinda expected from such a douche.
Today, I learned from a new counterpart of mine--a former inferior of his--that our director actually had her "gathering information on him." One thing she said in particular was that he would call her & another female co-worker of hers(both early 20-somethings), into his office "just to chat," and that despite their *completely honest* protests of being overworked & busy, he would just want to listen to music with them in his office.
"just listen to 2 more songs, and I'll let you get back to work." She told me that a few days later, he actually showed up to work with cuts all over his hands. I bet the bastard was cheating on his wife, and beat the crap out of her when she found out about it.
What a creep. I hope that I never have to deal with a person like that again. And if I do, I'll have the opportunity to coincidentally meet them in a dark alley.
From now on, I dub all creepy douches to be: "Ross"
spread the word.
He was a total prick, completely condescending to me, and his work seemed like something that could be product of a sixth grader with a bad attitude. He was middle aged, seemed "very tidy," very opinionated about quality, always wore sweaters & wire rimmed glasses, etc.... He belittled me one time, in a meeting in front of other people, for having a Viagra pen. (I thought it was cool, OK?) "How embarrassing" he said. "The fucking nerve you have! I could kick your ass into next Tuesday," I thought.
Fortunately, I didn't have to work with him directly, and rarely had to deal with his nincompoopery.
I'd learned officially that he'd be "gone indefinitely" because he ended up missing a few days of work. I learned through the grapevine that he was in jail for beating his wife. Something I kinda expected from such a douche.
Today, I learned from a new counterpart of mine--a former inferior of his--that our director actually had her "gathering information on him." One thing she said in particular was that he would call her & another female co-worker of hers(both early 20-somethings), into his office "just to chat," and that despite their *completely honest* protests of being overworked & busy, he would just want to listen to music with them in his office.
"just listen to 2 more songs, and I'll let you get back to work." She told me that a few days later, he actually showed up to work with cuts all over his hands. I bet the bastard was cheating on his wife, and beat the crap out of her when she found out about it.
What a creep. I hope that I never have to deal with a person like that again. And if I do, I'll have the opportunity to coincidentally meet them in a dark alley.
From now on, I dub all creepy douches to be: "Ross"
spread the word.
Monday, December 10, 2007
312
Today it took me 21 minutes to get home from work. It typically takes me 40+ minutes to get home, but they just opened the new 312 highway in the southwest, and my commute has decreased by a 20 minutes or more now, and about 1 mile. I'm also up to about 90% highway miles, so I should be increasing in economy too.
Not quite sure what it will be like in the morning, since I do have less traffic to deal with typically, but I'm pretty excited overall.
Not quite sure what it will be like in the morning, since I do have less traffic to deal with typically, but I'm pretty excited overall.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Irony
My company makes about $180,000,000 per year.
The greatest profit margins come from wires that are used for cleaning out coronary arteries.
Someone want to explain why the majority of the employees at my company, many of them highly competant at their job, allow their bodies to become shaped like the mushroom monsters from Super Mario Brothers?
It just seems to me like they might have some real world perspective that might give them incentive to avoid that kind of thing.
The greatest profit margins come from wires that are used for cleaning out coronary arteries.
Someone want to explain why the majority of the employees at my company, many of them highly competant at their job, allow their bodies to become shaped like the mushroom monsters from Super Mario Brothers?
It just seems to me like they might have some real world perspective that might give them incentive to avoid that kind of thing.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Success & Reward
I leave in less than 24 hours for Norway. I tingle inside each time I think about the trip.
If I haven't sent this to anyone, I've been developing a medical device for over 3 years. It just got FDA approval a few weeks ago. Here's a few places posting the press release.
..> ..>
If I haven't sent this to anyone, I've been developing a medical device for over 3 years. It just got FDA approval a few weeks ago. Here's a few places posting the press release.
..> ..>
| View your release posted on: | | |
 | | |
 | | |
 | | |
 | | |
| 111,000 Visitors/day | ||
 | | |
 | 53,000 Visitors/day | |
 | 53,000 Visitors/day | |
| 111,000 Visitors/day | ||
 | 53,000 Visitors/day | |
| 111,000 Visitors/day | ||
 | 53,000 Visitors/day | |
| 111,000 Visitors/day | ||
 | 53,000 Visitors/day | |
 | | |
Friday, May 11, 2007
Wild Realization & Infinite Optimism
The other day I got a portfolio from my boss's office. I have to select from a bunch of different gifts/trinkets for recognition of my 5th year of service at my company.
"Holy Crap!", exclaimed the disillusioned late-twentysomething.
I was in college for 5 years. On June 4th, I'll have spent more time at this job than I did in college. NOW THAT IS HEAVY SHIT.
I can say, however, that the last 5 years have been decisively better than the 5 before that. I'm wholeheartedly looking forward to life's treasures in the next 5 trips around the sun, and hopefully, the next 70 after that. and I hope I can share it with you all.
.......
I'll be getting the binoculars with the company's emblem mounted onto them in gold.
"Holy Crap!", exclaimed the disillusioned late-twentysomething.
I was in college for 5 years. On June 4th, I'll have spent more time at this job than I did in college. NOW THAT IS HEAVY SHIT.
I can say, however, that the last 5 years have been decisively better than the 5 before that. I'm wholeheartedly looking forward to life's treasures in the next 5 trips around the sun, and hopefully, the next 70 after that. and I hope I can share it with you all.
.......
I'll be getting the binoculars with the company's emblem mounted onto them in gold.
Saturday, January 6, 2007
Not Expected
I'm pretty sure they've made a commercial about this at some point in time, but here's how a meeting of mine went a few days ago.
Attendance: Me, a couple top engineers, an operations manager, an engineering manager, and engineering director.
Engineering director is a very distinguished, well-dressed gentleman as you might expect. Short salt & pepper hair, perfectly pressed BOSS shirts & dress slacks, perfect knot in his stylish tie, always spearheading discussion.
I generally give him his due respect. He does his job well.
Back to the meeting. We're all having a good discussion, trying to solve problems, etc. I'm doling out necessary information, they're questioning me on the whys & hows.
A moment of silence for reflection of the lastest idea.......
Loud teenybobber club music permeates the room.
Everyone sits still for a few, very long seconds.
Engineering director reaches for his cell phone.
I bite my lips together very hard to keep from laughing.
Attendance: Me, a couple top engineers, an operations manager, an engineering manager, and engineering director.
Engineering director is a very distinguished, well-dressed gentleman as you might expect. Short salt & pepper hair, perfectly pressed BOSS shirts & dress slacks, perfect knot in his stylish tie, always spearheading discussion.
I generally give him his due respect. He does his job well.
Back to the meeting. We're all having a good discussion, trying to solve problems, etc. I'm doling out necessary information, they're questioning me on the whys & hows.
A moment of silence for reflection of the lastest idea.......
Loud teenybobber club music permeates the room.
Everyone sits still for a few, very long seconds.
Engineering director reaches for his cell phone.
I bite my lips together very hard to keep from laughing.
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmmm Mmmmmm
So I've got some throat thing going on and my voice has dropped about 3 full octaves. Since Sunday, every word I've uttered has came out sounding like the lead singer from The Crash Test Dummies. 'member those guys?
Anyways, the point of discussion today really has no point but is a simple observation. Last week, I took my playstation 1, which was covered in a layer of dust, and put it along with my ps games into my storage space.
In contrast, the 39 & 43 year-old engineers in the adjacent cubicles have 15 minute discussions about some computer game they play online every time the 45-year-old-long-hair-mountain-man-beard-no-wedding-ring dude from IS stops by. Which is like 10-15 times a day.
And then ...about half the time these days....one of our project managers stops by to issue action items or drop some papers off or something......and makes my day just a little more entertaining.
"....but you totally have to get to level 19 and grab the flute if you want the weapons upgrade for your chainsawwweeerrr... we need to replace that hard disk in your computer. I'll put in a purchase request ASAP.....
Once there was this dude who.
Really hated video games
and old people that played them all dayyyyy-aaayyy
but wheee-eeeennnnn
the 55 year old redheaded lesbian project manager stopped byyyy-eee-iiii
to get a status report on the components got all pissed
the dude who hated geeks got a good laughhhh-aaghhh
or something like that. I'll work on a TCTD cover for all of you.
Anyways, the point of discussion today really has no point but is a simple observation. Last week, I took my playstation 1, which was covered in a layer of dust, and put it along with my ps games into my storage space.
In contrast, the 39 & 43 year-old engineers in the adjacent cubicles have 15 minute discussions about some computer game they play online every time the 45-year-old-long-hair-mountain-man-beard-no-wedding-ring dude from IS stops by. Which is like 10-15 times a day.
And then ...about half the time these days....one of our project managers stops by to issue action items or drop some papers off or something......and makes my day just a little more entertaining.
"....but you totally have to get to level 19 and grab the flute if you want the weapons upgrade for your chainsawwweeerrr... we need to replace that hard disk in your computer. I'll put in a purchase request ASAP.....
Once there was this dude who.
Really hated video games
and old people that played them all dayyyyy-aaayyy
but wheee-eeeennnnn
the 55 year old redheaded lesbian project manager stopped byyyy-eee-iiii
to get a status report on the components got all pissed
the dude who hated geeks got a good laughhhh-aaghhh
or something like that. I'll work on a TCTD cover for all of you.
Wednesday, January 4, 2006
Sometimes it's not so bad being an engineer...
So I got pulled into my bosses office, expecting to get reamed up one side and down the other for difficulties in my project; most of them having to do with my decimal-in-the-wrong-place type fuckups, but instead he gave me a 5 percent raise.
sidenote: When I got my monster raise this past summer, I was taking an absurdly long lunch/coffee break with Rose and was checking my work voicemail from my cellphone, and heard this angina-inducing message..."Andy, you weren't at your desk when I stopped by; why don't you stop in to my office when you get this?"
Either I'm way smarter than I think, he's a dumbass, or I'm really good at CYA. (covering your ass, for those of you not in the corporate world.) Probably a combination of the latter two.
And he told me that I'm still getting another 5 percent at my upcoming 4th year milestone at my company. (today was about 3.5 years)
Not to gloat, but this aint too bad for spending most of the time crunching numbers or dreaming up new shit in front of a computer while listening to whatever I want on my headsets for most of the day. And I have coffee in hand whenever I want it. Shitty office coffee, but it's still coffee.
And taking just about as many E-mail breaks as I want--I've got a corner cube with my 19" flatscreen monitor turned juuuust soo....IS hasn't said a word to me in all this time.
There's an adage that goes something like this: "Be sure to measure your success by what you give up in order to obtain you goals."
Saturday, December 3, 2005
When my mind wanders at work
You know how you always see those major league jackasses on the road in their Suburbans or H2's at night driving by themselves, but with all 87 monitors in their vehicle playing some movie or music video?
I'm going to get the new video iPod and an armband for the gym, and play videos the whole fucking time! You're on the treadmill next to me, just walking along , until you look over and see my arm with my iPod on it.....Playing a fucking White Stripes video!
And then you, completely entranced & not paying attention, trip on the treadmill and fall face first on the belt.
I'm going to get the new video iPod and an armband for the gym, and play videos the whole fucking time! You're on the treadmill next to me, just walking along , until you look over and see my arm with my iPod on it.....Playing a fucking White Stripes video!
And then you, completely entranced & not paying attention, trip on the treadmill and fall face first on the belt.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
On my Resume, It says I'm a problem solver
Problem: You can't stop farting at your desk/cube/office.
Solution: Take the cap off your much stinkier permanent marker & wave it around & blow on the tip to mask the scent.
Thursday, September 22, 2005
I've got it under control
Hell broke loose today on my project; we had a quality failure, and our customer issued a complaint and started emailing nastygrams. My boss pulled me into his office, ready to put the screws to me, and I already had shit under control. Plan A is complete, and I have a fucking awesome failsafe Plan B.
Here's how I know plan B is awesome. I sent photos of plan B to out pissed off customer who sent back an email (copying everyone, mind you) saying, "Thork, if you can get that to work on a production scale, I will build a statue of you here at XXXXXX"
It feels good to kick ass sometimes.
Here's how I know plan B is awesome. I sent photos of plan B to out pissed off customer who sent back an email (copying everyone, mind you) saying, "Thork, if you can get that to work on a production scale, I will build a statue of you here at XXXXXX"
It feels good to kick ass sometimes.
Thursday, July 21, 2005
...I am an Island
Email conversation from work today.
Me: Vlad, I found 10 wires for that will be acceptable for use in our gage study! Andy
My Russian co-worker: You are Rock. Thanks. Vlad.
Me: Vlad, I found 10 wires for that will be acceptable for use in our gage study! Andy
My Russian co-worker: You are Rock. Thanks. Vlad.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Mayfly
This morning I sat down at my desk to see a mayfly sitting on my monitor. Over the night, it had made it through 3 security levels only to end at my desk. Those things only live about 24 hours, so it probably spent half it's lifespan working its way up through my office, only to die here alone. Sad. Alot of PEOPLE will end up that way.
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