One last kiss.

I finally got the "I want my shit back" call today after almost 2 weeks of no returned calls from Dr. Jenny

I knew the score, and I've already started moving on.

She told me that she's been too busy with work, and I know that is true, but only partially. She said that this was her first day off in 3 weeks, but it takes 2 minutes to make a phone call....even if you work a 16 hour day.

I'm obviously disappointed about this, but I did have a couple months of great times, and experienced that great phase of discovery and obsession/enamorment over a new girl. I've felt it a few times, and the thrill is second to nothing in life as far as I'm concerned. Except for the act of expressing that thrill with that person I suppose.

Unfortunately, this was a relationship that I knew in the back of my head wouldn't work. After date 3, she nearly crashed her BMW while driving with way too much alcohol in her. In recent time she's talked about going to rehab for her problem. She also was a complete spendthrift, a grown woman living off her mother's credit card and home. This is also not a component of a sustainable relationship. You'd think $200,000+ of school debt might change one's spending habits.

What makes me feel least savory about this was that I really took care of her. And she really needed someone to take care of her. I took her to nice places, I bought some nice things for her, and I took care of her and held her close when she was vulnerable. I made her laugh, and I made her feel the same way about me that I felt about her.

-------------

She just left a few minutes ago, and I held out my hand to shake. She gave me a peck instead.

I followed out the door, and in the hallway I told her, "If it's truly your time commitment...and things improve in the future....call me."

Without hesitation-- "A, you're an awesome person, but it's just not working." Her voice crackled.

I rubbed off her lip gloss.

My adventure continues........

Lately....

Sorry for the bolus of posts, but I've had an interesting few weeks. I've started dating a new girl who I met on Match, and I've really been enjoying her company. If I haven't told you about her yet, you can probably guess what her name is.

This on top of training has left me with little time for internet. Which is good, because I spend way too much time online. So now I've replaced much internet time with drinking wine across the table from a smoking hot chick.

Needless to say, I'm really excited.

The cool thing is that we have a few differences that really compliment each other. We've met on fundamental levels, and I wouldn't go as far as to say that it's a case of opposites attracting, but we do seem to get along well despite not being "perfect matches."

Also, despite spending time with this new girl, I still have time to go out biking & whatnot. She works insane hours (80+/wk) -- an inherent trait of her profession, so she's usually getting done with work when I've finished working out. Convenient, no? I'm reminded of Aphrodite, who chose(as I was taught) Hephaestus(greek god of technology, metallurgy, and fire---i.e. me) because he worked late--allowing her to be with extramarital trysts. In this case--our lovers are work and bicycles, respectively.

Given my dating history, this is probably more than I should be writing this girl at this time. I'll stop here.

uh, later.

Rilo Kiley

Thursday night I got a call from Dr. J and asked if I wanted to meet her & friends to see Rilo Kiley--It was about 7pm, and the opening bands were already playing. I'm a fan of RK, but not a huge fan--I think I liked Jenny Lewis's solo album better as a whole than any RK album I've heard, so needless to say I was a bit hesitant to drop $25 at the door, but it ended up being a damn good show.

Jenny Lewis was, surprisingly, scantily clad. Seriously--pull off the bass guitar and add some pompoms and she could've easily passed for Dallas cowboys cheerleader. I'll digress by saying that neither I nor my company was less than really turned on by it.

Sidebar
I also learned a clever trick for going downtown. Next time you are going somewhere near block E, park at Palomino's (9th between hennepin & lasalle) ramp. Go up and have a drink--they'll validate your parking for 2.5 hours. It's like a free drink!

Edina: Where the wine flows like beer.

Another weeknight, another 3 bottles of wine between the two of us. Thankfully, we were eating a scrumptious pasta courtesy of Chris Carmichael, and we were not driving.

Today was another one of those days.

Women suck at online dating.

I just had an awesome date where I sang a karaoke duet to "the humpty dance" at the Country bar.

Thank you, Internet.

On to my point. I'd just like to say a few things to women posting profiles on online dating services.

1) All women are looking for "a partner in crime"

Do me a favor and stop saying that shit. Puh-leeease. It's as stupid as it is cliché. Think back to high school/college, and your favorite "partner in crime." He was gay, wasn't he? I thought so.

2) All women want a funny guy.

You love to laugh? NO. FUCKING. WAY.

News Flash
a) There is not a person on this planet who does not like laughing. Even Dick Cheney.
b)All guys who are actually funny are huge dickless incompetents or slovenly creepasaurs.

Deep down, you actually want a guy with money, so go ahead tell the truth. Or, say that you want to date an asshole. I just know you want to date a guy that treats you like a piece of crap 99% of the time.....go ahead. Hey--It's O K . Just Be honest. That's the best policy.

3) I already know that sometimes you want to go out and get dressed up, and sometimes you want to stay in and watch TV.

Uh, me too. I'm also a fucking triathlete that climbs mountains in his spare time. That statement doesn't mean anything more than "I'm a normal American person." Be sure to mention if you're a slasher, or "I'll do anything for coke"....now that's something worth mentioning.

4) I already know that you're down-to earth.

Really, Gravity works on you too??? Holy shit! We have tons in common!

5) I already know that you're laid back.

Being laid back is tantamount to not being a crystal meth addict. Thanks for the clarification.

And the radioman says that women were a curse.

I'm back to not trusting my intuition. I wanted to jump in head first with this girl, but I know what a good relationship and a bad relationship should feel like. Something was not right, and I ignored it.

It turns out that one of my oldest friends helped make those cookies & Banana bread. Because he's been dating KM too.

In fact, unbeknownst to me, I'd been helping KM cheat on him since November 1. I don't see B very often, and no way was I going to bring her up with him, since they were close friends, and to my understanding, attempted to be more than that for a short time.

When she was off drinking with her volleyball buddies, she was with B. Or me. Depending on who she was telling it to. When I showed up to one of her volleyball games, the jig was up when I ran into D and started talking. He knew something I didn't know. 10 minutes after I left, I got a breakup text from KM. She still wanted to meet in person...this is where I got the treats.

Given our history, I wanted to take things very smoothly with this girl. I didn't press any issue, and take things delicately.

What really irks me is that I was dating several girls before she decided to cheat on B. I gave up potential relationships with at least 3 women. Before you make conclusions, I was not dating any of these girls seriously, but had the option to, and as casual as things were, I felt pretty rotten dating them because they were all really nice girls. But Yes. I gave up endless opportunity for what my emotions, probably driven by hormones, were telling me.

On hormones: I've been reading Sperm Wars, which is about evolutionary biology as it relates to human sexuality. Baker states that from the primal mind's perspective, it is best if a male can reproduce and trick another man into raising his offspring, so he can proliferate his genetic information as much as possible. The women's side of this is even more riveting . This is the impetus behind Sperm Wars, but I'll let you read it yourself. It's pretty wild stuff.

On Infidelity: Incidentally, there's tons of talk about infidelity in Sperm Wars, and how it is way more prolific that you might think it is, and why. I discussed this with KM all the time and KM seemed to eat this up. She even told me that she wanted to borrow my copy. You'd think that she might be torn up with guilt.

All contestants will recieve these lovely parting gifts.

At least she broke it to me while giving me cookies & banana bread she baked for me.

So yet another relationship down the hole. Funny how they always start with "you're an awesome guy, but...."

That actually means "I'm trying to keep you from making a big stink about this, and that might happen if I tell you flat out I don't think we're compatible."

I've always been a person to forgive and give people a second chance. Maybe that's a weakness to some, but it will be a strength when the times comes, and someone will appreciate that in me.
I'm really bothered by how history seems to repeat itself and I end up dating women twice. Before, that was a sign that I wasn't ready to commit, and a girl gave me a second chance. Now, it's me being the forgiver. I'm wondering if one of these days the third time will be a charm. Or perhaps....the first time?

In the mean time, I'm going to go out and kick some ass on the ski slopes.

...

I feel like chewing broken glass.

Time for me to start taking my own advice.

Fear & Peace

I sit in one of the most screwed up relationship situations I've ever gotten into. This all started in a very innocent way, but I now stand to possibly lose the woman of my dreams to one of my best friends.

I'm going to go to bed after I'm done posting this and taken a shower(because I just went mountain biking & I'm filthy), but tonight I will sleep soundly.

Why?

Because I've learned some very important things about life and about relationships in the last year, and I simply know that everything will work out for the best.

I am not afraid, and therefore I am at peace.

It's strange how long one spends dealing with the great complexities of things. But once you find the answer and you look back, you realize that it's all extremely simple.

Where It's at.

I stopped into the Herkimer yesterday to meet a new friend. It was not busy at all; there was maybe 10 people there. The shuffleboard table was empty, if that gives you any idea.

A few minutes later, a very old friend Leah walked in. I hadn't seen or talked to her in years since she now lives in Seattle. She was in town to meet with a pastor because she's getting married here in a few weeks. And upon her homecoming she brought her fiance to the Herkimer. This speaks volumes, because for as long is I've known her, Leah has been floating slightly above the pinnacle of hipster coolness attainable by mere mortals.

Then I saw my friend Adam who showed up. He's like, "Did you see Scott here?" I did not. Apparently I had just missed (my good friend) Scott with a handful of his old housemates, some of who were back to Minny from San Francisco.

So I guess my whole point here is that the Herkimer kicks ass.

Fortune Cookie

I love fortune cookies. Well, I love fortunes from fortune cookies. My most prized fortune reads:

"You will never find a better sparring partner than adversity."