I'm short

For my family, anyways....

Dad, Tim, me, Bruce

Rollercoaster

I've been going up and down for weeks now. Athough today wasn't great, here's what I wrote to myself on Tuesday.

"Today I feel very strong, and very in control. My mood is sad, but confident in my ability . I'm on the verge of tears, but I feel like I can go through my feelings, yet simultaneously use my inner strength to be at peace. I'm not quite sure if these tears are from sadness, or joy, or faith. Maybe both.

I feel although times are more difficult than ever, I can focus on my being, measure my problems, solve them, improve, and become a better person. I'm very confident in my inner strength.

During times like these, I often find solace and strength in doing new things and improving myself. Take yourself to your point of failure, and recover stronger. Challenging your limits always makes your world bigger.

I think I've found the bottom! And now that I've stopped falling, I can see that I'm still alive, and I can see the way out!"

I hope to have more days like this.

it’s 9:30am, and I’m still drunk.

Mixing alcohol and emotion is, and always will be, a bad idea.

Well, I feel a little better.

A good bike ride can burn frustration pretty quickly.


A good place to start, I suppose.

...

I feel like chewing broken glass.

Time for me to start taking my own advice.

Fear & Peace

I sit in one of the most screwed up relationship situations I've ever gotten into. This all started in a very innocent way, but I now stand to possibly lose the woman of my dreams to one of my best friends.

I'm going to go to bed after I'm done posting this and taken a shower(because I just went mountain biking & I'm filthy), but tonight I will sleep soundly.

Why?

Because I've learned some very important things about life and about relationships in the last year, and I simply know that everything will work out for the best.

I am not afraid, and therefore I am at peace.

It's strange how long one spends dealing with the great complexities of things. But once you find the answer and you look back, you realize that it's all extremely simple.

R&G TT

So I decided to do a Time Trial with the Ride & Glide team this evening. It was a trail benefit for ski trails, and I wanted a fitness check for the Half this weekend.

The 13.4 mile course was out in Withrow, MN,(NE of White Bear Lake) a place I've never been to, but it seemed like it wouldn't be that difficult to get there from work (in Chaska) by 5:30pm. I had my bike along, and I would just shoot up 494/694. I wasn't changed into my Gear West kit, I had no sports drink, and I'd been drinking water all day, so I figured I'd stop off at a gas station and take care of all 3 once I got off the highway.

This never happened, because apparently, nobody needs Gatorade, gas, or a public restroom ANYWHERE north of White Bear Lake. After driving for 1.25 hours, passing the race site, I drove for about 20 effin' minutes back toward civilization before finding a gas station. I swore a whole lot.

I finally checked in late, and was in the company of some of the fastest cyclists of the evening.

I took off FAST. I was averaging 28+mph in the first couple miles. This didn't last. I ended up getting past by a couple (really fast) guys, the pain set in, the lungs started burning, and I got into a pace. The course wasn't challenging, but any rise had me really pushing hard to hold pace--my goal was to go above 23mph. I haven't seen my time yet, but I'm confident I achieved that.

Highlight: I did pass one guy on the course, and this made me very happy, because he was on a $6000 titanium Litespeed bike.