Why I believe celebrities are generally excellent choices for Political office.

I've been a big Franken supporter/fan since before he announced his intention to run for US Senate. I also liked Jesse ventura as Governer (even though I was only a MN resident for a couple months he was in charge), and I don't think Arnold is a horrible governer either, given his affiliation with the Republican party.

Given a celebrity has a basic understanding of civics, economics, and public policy; I would generally favor them over career politicians. I urge you to see things the same way, no matter your political stance.


What? Are you f*cking nuts?

No. This is all about a matter of motivation.


As a general rule, I will favor just about anyone running for public office over a businessman-turned-politician running for office. Businessmen are motivated by one thing -- their own (and their friends') personal profits. Expect them to make actions that will put money in their own bank accounts and the accounts of those who helped get them into office. Some people might call huge campaign donations "investments." This is described in more succinct terms as "corruption" and "cronyism."

I recall a story about guitar god Tom Morello, who after getting his political science degree, worked for a (I can only assume liberal) politician. He became quite disillusioned with the process, given that this politician spent 80% of his day begging rich people for money. So he could get re-elected.

Conversely, celebrities generally already have their own money. Lots of it! In addition, the sheer "star-factor" of a celebrity can inspire people to donate cash. This is the same reason you see celebrities taking up charities - they can use their influence to raise cash. (If they're not willing to tap into their own bank accounts, as many are) In this case, the tax deductible charity that they are promoting is your political party of choice.

In addition, everyone who even considers running for public office has an ego to feed. However, celebrities are megalomaniacal--they listen to one person. Themselves. Lobbyists will have a very difficult time influencing someone who already has an ego AND retarded amounts of cash. In fact, they'll probably heard, "don't call my fucking phone again" more often than not from Jesse Ventura.

Celebrities by definition are already public figures-just like politicians. However, people seem to act surprised when politicians get wound up in scandals?

Which one of the following statements should you not be surprised by?

a) Governer Spitzer flew a ridiculously expensive hooker to his hotel room in DC.

b) Police broke up a party at Senator Charlie Sheen's house, where they found 2 kilos of cocaine, 16 hookers, and a half ton of whipped cream.

c) Senator Larry Craig tried to solicit sex from a male cop in an airport bathroom.

Answer: You should not be surprised by any of them.

NEWSFLASH: People with tons of money and power, no matter who they are, regularly do things that are far more fucked up than the weirdest porno you've ever seen. My point here----there's no difference. Ironically, it is the non-celebrity politicians who are putting on an act.

So I agree that the Arnolds, the Al Frankens, and even the Charlton Hestons should be running for public office. They have nothing but motivation to advance thier ideas. They will spend most of their time pursuing them during their time in office.

A new sherriff in town.

Well, Obama won. I feel like someone turned a lightbulb on inside me. My faith in America has been invigorated for the most part. (Michelle Bachmann did just get re-elected.)

But check this out.

Obama's campaign tricked McCain's campaign into spending money in Pennsylvania -- a place they knew McCain had no chance of winning.

This, to me, is like the Democratic party walking up from behind Karl Rove (and legions of other Republican strategists) and kicking them in the nuts, America's Funniest Home Videos-style. The democrats are metaphorically dancing above them, yellling "BOOM-Shakka-lakka-lakka!!"

They never saw it coming, and they had no idea what happened until after they were gasping on the floor.

Have some.

McCain cuts & runs.

John McCain just mavericked his campaign out of Michigan, a battleground state he's apparently decided that he couldn't win. The going must be tough there, considering the home of America's automotive industry just experienced a ~35% decrease in auto sales this quarter. And John heard a crowd cheering "Obama" to his face a month or two ago while touring an auto plant.

It seems intuitive that someone would allocate their resources where they would be most effective, but I really question the logic McCain & his advisers used when coming to this decision. Why pull out of a battleground state where you might have a 40-45% chance of winning than a state with next to 0% chance? Like New York or California.

Surely advertising in New York and California is more expensive than Michigan, and Obama has a 99.999% chance of winning in those places. By pulling the campaign from those states, he could redistribute to states where he has more votes riding.

On top of that, pulling out of Oklahoma and Wyoming wouldn't have a negative consequence either, where McCain is expected to wildly dominate...those electoral votes are in the bag....why are you spending money there?

Pulling out of any state is also an inherent admittance that you have a limited amount of resources.

This is all evidence to me that not only is McCain out of money, again, but that he also has poor decision-making skills.

The pull from Michigan should have conservatives going WTF? just like they did on:
a)the announcement that he was suspending his campaign to solve the wall street crisis
b)the announcement of Sarah Palin as his VP.

The Olympics

I'm lovin' it.

Well, cycling and swimming has been on, so go figure.

Anyways, WTF are we doing in China? They have like the worst human rights record on the planet, they have recently been proven to be funding and helping the Sudanese Government exterminate the Darfurese people, they displaced some 2,000,00 people to build the olympic village, and they suppress the freedom on information in their country.

The air is smokier than smoke, for crying out loud!

Here's what I say.

The Olympics are not for politics. They are for the athletes who have been pursuing the pinnacle of achievement for 4 years or more. It is not their choice where they compete.

I do believe that the direct exposure of other cultures to the Chinese people will have a positive effect. Hopefully they will realize how badly they're being fucked over by the few at the top. (I kinda feel the same way about our country some times--help us, Scandinavia!)

That being said--enjoy those cool buildings. I predict that they, as they did in The Devil in the White city, crumble. Beijing has no use for them. A few people will get rich, but people who built them will be out of a job. The cars will again run.

GO USA!!!

John McCain gets OWNED.

Tim Russert might not have been as lukewarm as I thought he was. Kudos, sir.

Why I'm voting Republican

I've been converted

Samsonite!? I was way off!!

So my Super Tuesday predictions weren't quite on. Here are some revelations:

1) Hillary took California 52%-42%, much to my surprise. One thing I forgot to consider was that many Californians had mailed in their votes weeks ahead--including many people who voted for John Edwards--4% worth. I can't think of anyone who would walk from the Edwards camp to the Hillary camp with the option of Obama.

2) Barack is trailing, but not by much. He took Minnesota, North Dakota, and....my precinct. He beat Hillary 204-57. As of this moment, Hillary leads 823-741 delegates--- marginally thin when you think about it.

3) John McCain pulled ahead!!!!! WTF?!?!?! This is crazy!!! Rush Limbaugh, Laura Ingraham, Michael Savage, James Dobson, Bill Oh'Really?, (m)Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck -- the cornerstone of the Republican base -- has been deriding McCain all week, and he pulls ahead. Seriously, the core is trying HARD. This leads me to believe that Republicans ***drumroll*** are paying less and less attention to them. I'm not a religious man, but the idea of Rush & Bill Oh'Really? getting layed off and having to resort to living on welfare makes me feel happy.

4) America's knuckle dragging YECs stood with their man, Huckabee. (who looks like Kevin Spacey with a meth problem, no?) I made a fatal mistake here. I underestimated the power of....Chuck Norris. (Chuckabee?) Or God. Oh, wait. Huckabee is a far 3rd place. NEWS FLASH! God is trying to tell you something, Mike. Don't get it? Look down. There's a fork sticking out of you.

sidebar: Shit. Someone's already beat me to my next logical blog....Mike Huckabee & Chuck Norris Facts.

Fact: Chuck Norris is so corny that ethanol producers believe him to be a vast, untapped source of alternative energy.

5) A dickless shell of a man wrapped in a BOSS suit, Mitt Romney took $35,000,000 from his bank account, and set it on fire. When I see that guy, I think two things:

a) Giant Douche
b) "A fool and his money will soon be parted"

6) Perhaps I'm taking the horse before the cart, but the numbers of people caucusing are staggering--particularly in the bible belt. Georgia, Arkansas, and Missouri all went to George Bush in 2004. On Tuesday, the numbers voting for Barack and Hillary handily outnumbered those voting for the GOP's top 3 in these states. I suspect Ron Paul's voters will split about 50-50 to the democratic & republican candidates in November. Even Colorado -- with it's mega churches -- went handily blue. I suspect this is courtesy of continued reverberation from Ted Haggard, who just got ejaculated ejected from "restoration therapy."

Super Tuesday Predictions

The super bowl wasn't worth watching, but Super Tuesday is going to be interesting. Here's what will happen.

1) Barack takes California, Illinois, and perhaps the lead in super Tuesday. Hillary is too conservative for California. Don't think so? Ann Coulter will campaign for Hillary if McCain is elected, because he's "more liberal" than she is.

Hmmm. Perhaps this will increase the chance that she'll hook up with Henry Rollins.


2) Romney will pull even or ahead of McCain. McCain is probably the greatest challenger to the either Hillary or Barack, but how he's ahead of Romney is beyond me. McCain is missing two very, very important things if you're a Republican: the support of Rush Limbaugh, and the support of James Dobson. Meanwhile, most people sense that "Godstitution" Huckabee is going to drop out soon enough, and Romney's magic underwear definitely qualifies him as the wackier of the two, slurping up that 7% of America's creepiest.

McCain may have had the support from center-right Americans, but he made a big mistake about a 16 months ago. He was still opposing the Bush admin over torture, as a man who's been tortured himself. And then, he spent one weekend behind closed doors with W & Cheney, and out he came a believer in our torture policy & the Bush Admin. What really happened here, was that Bush pledged his support in '08 if John would just shut his f***ing mouth about Iraq & Guantanamo. Not long after that, GWB's support dropped below 30%, and McCain realized he got the short end of the stick. This is why he's looking waaaaay older than he actually is....he sold his soul to Cheney.

Some political thoughts.

1) John Edwards is my #1 candidate. That guy has the best demeanor of all Democratic candidates. That guy wakes up in the morning, and thinks about changing the world while he's putting his socks on. If you think he's a pussy, you should look at his professional record as an attorney. He's reduced teams of corporate attorneys who outmatched his salary manyfold into schoolgirls.

2) I'm very concerned about conglomeration of corporate America--especially the media, and John is the only frontrunner who will actually enforce monopoly laws in this country. Hillary and Barack have way too many ties to the big business monopolies that Edwards will actually be working to crack.

3) The only thing that republicans have on John Edwards is his $400 haircut. This, incidentally, pays for a one week supply of Mitt Romney's head grease.

4) That being said, I will fully support whichever Democrat is nominated.

5) Anyone who thinks Barack is unelectable should read about his success among whites in South Carolina. Keep in mind that there were more primary votes for Barack alone than McCain AND Huckabee, the top 2 Republican finishers. It's looking like SC will go democratic in November even if Barack is the dem nominee, a huge slap in the face to KKK/Larry the cable guy america.

6) The Republicans know that Barack is the strongest overall Democratic challenger, and this explains all the smear emails going around about him being a muslim. THIS IS PRECISELY WHY BARACK SHOULD BE YOUR FIRST OR SECOND DEMOCRATIC CHOICE.

7) Rudy is toast -- he's out of money and we haven't even come across a state where he's finished better than forth. I'd like to see him hold on. He's probably taking votes from McCain, and empty suit Romney & nutjob Huckabee will be easier fodder for the Barack machine to crush.

8) John McCain appears to have aged a decade in the last year. He's gone bad faster than arugula in my fridge. If you think that he won't last 2 terms, you're wrong. THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S ACTUALLY A ZOMBIE.

9) If a Republican is elected, take your ridiculous economic stimulus checks and turn them into Gold or Euros. The dollar will continue to plunge. Romney, McCain, and Huckabee have all pledged to stay in Iraq--we've been borrowing $275,000,000/day for that war, and don't forget that they will keep cutting taxes. US Dollars will have no international value in their hands.

Hillary

I'm not really a Hillary fan--I'm pretty much hoping for some combination of an Obama/Edwards ticket, but I had an interesting 3:30am, red bull & vodka infused conversation with a guy at a party the other day. It did stay friendly, but it was definitely dynamic.

I've heard this before on the internets, but I've never met a real live person who believed this. He told me "that the only reason Hillary didn't divorce Bill is for her future (presidential) political ambitions. "

So lemme get this straight.....

The expectation of a Christian conservative would be for a faltering marriage to immediately dissolve? That seems wildly counterintuitive. I thought the foundation of Christianity was built on forgiveness, and that the "for better & for worse" part of the vows meant something.

I also seem to remember that Bill (Clinton) went to church frequently, AND in one instance I remember, he was videotaped on the front steps of his church while being jeered by some (conservative, I assume) holier than thou. Apparently "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" is not part of the lords prayer where he comes from.

And what is even more profound is the bile at which they spew this nonsense.

a)It sounds like to me that they are miffed that they can't monopolize fidelity & morals. The very idea that a liberal could hold a marriage together is horrifying to a conservative, a pure case of cognitive dissonance, so they make up ulterior motives for such "Strange" behavior. Stange behavior indeed, because this cheating & divorce happens to liberals. Conservatives NEVER get divorced, NEVER cheat on their spouses with hookers, and NEVER try to have sex with teenage boys.

I know that infidelity is prolific in the human condition. I can accept why it happens. I can't accept it to happen to me. Why "the sanctity of marriage is even something worth talking is about is only because conservatives keep blabbering about it. Real special those conservatives. So novel that they wouldn't want to be cheated on and lose their spouses.

b)It also sounds to me like a deep loathing for your(political) enemies, which is not what Christ tells us to do. He tells us to love our enemies, correct? So shouldn't good Christians be happy that Bill & Hillary saved their marriage? No. They were hoping that they would crash & burn in similar fashion to my secret desires for Britney. Except mine came true.

I tell you what conservatives. Do me a favor. If you REALLY want to protect marriage, put forth a bill in congress to make divorce in 99.99% of all cases illegal, with mandatory prison sentences. Have Mike Huckabee run on it. I'll sign it--just to see what ensues. Is it that a ridiculous idea? You shouldn't think so--God ordained, approved, and perhaps planned your marriage on your wedding day in his church. Why should it be legal to undo God's works? To interrupt his plan? How do you know the point of your life is not God's way to show other people not to rush into marriage? Show me how committed you are to him.

And the next part: How exactly does divorcing Bill destroy her ability to run for president? HMMMM?

If she divorced him, she could take all his money (which I'm sure you'd just loooove) and be labeled an even BIGGER ballbuster than the conservatives give her credit for. But she's not a ballbuster. She's a loving wife with a family,(and a spine) and conservatives can't attack a loving wife. So they brand her as a ballbusting dominatrix. That way, she's much easier to attack. Ironically, they're trying to make her into a liberal version of Ann Coulter, every republican man's daily infidelity against his wife.

In the end,
a) it's all sour grapes that you didn't get your way, and have an easier method to attack her.
b) you know that given the same situation, YOU wouldn't have a big enough heart to forgive your spouse. You'd divorce them. Hey--I might too. But there's no chance that you'll give her credit.

As Stephen Colbert put it......"the truth has a liberal bias."

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Later on, I added fuel to the fire by having the guy read Luke 17:20-21.

God repayed me by making me puke my guts out about an hour later.

Let Me Clear the Fog

I've had ENOUGH of this ridiculous "if we don't fight 'em there, we'll have to fight 'em here" logic.

This so called conventional wisdom flies in the face of common sense, so let me straighten it out. ESPECIALLY for all the "straight-shooters" out there.

In "The Fog of War", Robert McNamara, the longest standing Secretary of Defense in the history of the US, outlines the eleven lessons of his life. (He was a war strategist whiz-kid during WWII, the secretary of defense during the cuban missle crisis, and was SoD during administrations of both political parties)

His #1 lesson is: Empathize with your enemy.

We know at least a few things about our the terrorists we are fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan.

1. They will attack civilians if they can.
2. They may be murderers, but they aren't stupid.

I have one question for all you who are so concerned that if the war ends in Iraq, we'll have to dodge bullets at the grocery store.
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Why would an terrorist in Iraq fight an armed American trooper when he could with much less risk to his own life, fly/boat to mexico, and waltz(or Mariachi with an Elephant) across our swiss cheese southern border, and attack American citizens?
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NEWS FLASH. THEY CAN DO THAT TODAY.

The idea that they will follow the Marines BACK to the US is wildly absurd. Why would they buy their plane tickets when our occupation ends? Wouldn't the easiest target be American civilians within our borders while 200,000+ soldiers are overseas?

If it WAS happening today, we'd definately hear Bush 43 talk about it in the same breaths as he does with his alleged foiled terrorist plots. But, border security has been pretty low on the Bush administration & Homeland Security's to-do list. (in fact, I'd like to see Homeland Security's to-do list. I bet all line items are "waste money on ridiculous shit.")

But this is not happening now, and it won't happen later. Insurgents in Iraq want control of their country. They are not interested in killing American civilians in America, because if they were they'd already be doing it. The war in Iraq will NOT be fought on US soil ever.

Unfortunately, McNamara's #2 lesson is that "Rationality will not save us." He'll be right unless you learn to think for yourselves.
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Postscript:
EarlG @ democraticunderground.com put it really well this morning.

"Essentially [this] rationale is that our troops are nothing more than human sacrifices on the altar of global terrorism. If we pull out of Iraq, the evil monsters will come to America and kill us all! Much better to feed them a steady diet of young American men and women in a faraway country that we don't really have to think about, right?"

There's really alot of people in this world that I'd like to slap.

A conservative co-worker(who I get along with) gave me an article on a book he wanted me to read. The book is by a guy named Mark Steyn, and he writes about the imminent Muslim invasion of America and the world.

In an excerpt from the book, he says, "You think Kurds and Arabs, Sunni and Shia are incompatible? What do you call a jurisdiction split between post-christian secular gay potheads and anti-whoring anti-sodomite anti-everything you dig Islamists? If Kurdistans an awkward fit in Iraq, how well does Pornostan fit in the Islamic republic of Holland?" Supposedly, this is LOL for conservatives.

Well, he does have a point. I will not get along with radical islam, although it is somewhat debatable on how much I identify his depiction of an American liberal.

Unfortunately he's missing something really, really important. I will not get along with islamic fundamentalists for the same reason I won't get along with contemporary conservatives in America. Let me re-iterate that.

You see, fundamentalist christians, I really think your lemon-lime flavored Kool-Aid sucks. And it's not because I hate lemon-lime. You see, I also hate islamic cherry flavored Kool-Aid. And mormon raspberry flavored Kool-Aid. I while I'm on the topic, I also think scientology Ecto Cooler flavored Hi-C tastes like shit too.

You see, I don't like all kinds of Kool-Aid. I like water, and Crystal Lite, and a diet Pepsi now & then. You all can show me all of your books about how great your flavor of Kool-Aid is, but I know it's all empty calories, and nothing to get serious about.

Hold on, I'm not done yet.

When you hear yourself saying "This is a Christian nation, the puritans came here to practice christianity in peace!", I hear you yelling "Shariah!, Shariah!, Allahu Ackbar!"

You wanna know why?

It's strange that contemporary American fundamentalist Christianity and radical Islam both:

+ are in favor of capital punishment
+ are in favor of criminalizing abortions.
+ don't want evolution taught in schools.
+ want to prevent gay marriage & ban gay rights (and some want them executed)
+ want the right to bear assault rifles
+ have leaders who talk directly God & Allah
+ are opposed to sexual freedom/liberation/expression
+ are opposed to birth control
+ are against stem cell research
+ support authoritarian goverance

Another thing these numbskulls are so concerned about is birthrate, which is apparently gargantuan in the middle east. Well, there's been many studies done that show that women who produce the most offspring are poorly educated. It's nice to see how well "abstinance only" policies work abroad.......much like they do here. Ok Ok, I'm spinning the issue. Andrew, all those islamic women are MARRIED. (because they usually stone women discovered having sex before marriage)

Back in ND we have a neighbor, who when asked at a cardgame when he & his wife were going to stop having kids, he replied, "when the good lord lets us know." Last I heard, they have 15 kids, and the last couple were retarded. Hey, at least they're married.

Mixture of cultures. Mr. Steyn bases alot of his points on the "fact" that islamic immigrants won't mix into America's melting pot. This sounds suspiciously much like the anti-irish (and anti-catholic) sentiment when the Irish were coming over in hordes. They were poor, dirty, drunk, and criminals--so there was great resistance to them in the big cities. The irish were the race that refused to jump into the melting pot. The "Know Nothing" party was formed.



That's why Tom & Nicole moved to Oklahoma.

This goofball also continues to rail the point that, as the population of middle eastern immigrants (a.k.a. "Islamicists") increases in the US and Europe(citing the average age of Italians, which is much older than the average age of the immigrants), that the world will devolve into medieval chaos and wretchedness. This dumbshit assumes that all of these immigrants is some type of jihadist, that they're going to come crashing into American cities as islam did on 9/11. Listen, people are coming here for the saaaaame reason they've been coming since 1776....a chance at a better life for themselves & their children. You wanna slow immigration into the US? Here's an idea-- fight poverty at it's source. Unfortunately nobody makes money fighting poverty; so far, we've only found ways to make money fighting.

Again, not like we haven't been paranoid before....the Japanese attack Pearl Harbor and all of sudden, we start rounding up 120,000 Japanese immigrants and putting them (and anyone who looks Japanese) in concentration camps on US soil. Ok, ok. We called them "internment camps." They were all getting their citizen degrees, and needed 6 months of experience making coffee for real American citizens before they could graduate.

You're doing a heckuva job, Rummy.

And Bushy starts by putting his lips square on the ass of the new liberal congress.........

"The timing is right for new leadership at the Pentagon"

"I share a large part of the responsibility for the outcome of the election"

"We can work together over the next two years"

"The message yesterday was clear: The American people want their leaders in Washington to.....conduct ourselves in an ethical manner"


This will really piss off the tough guy conservatives who were so happy with how tough he was. Especially those guys who always say "You know, if Al Gore was president right now, he would've pussed out to those terrorists, but not President Bush." Fuck You. You seem to forget that your texas cowboy president was a fucking cheerleader at a new england prep school. You're going to be begging Nancy Pelosi to impeach him.



We've got his ass in a vice, and he knows it. And only 1 day has passed. He's president until January 20, 2009. If he lasts that long, Bush will become synonymous with pussy. Oh, wait.......

And a few more things. If Bush thinks he can go back to his usual shenanigans, 3 things will happen.

1) His hair will probably go greyer (if that's possible) and fall out.
2) His wrinkles will get deeper
3) His thumb will get very sore from pushing the veto button.